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VIEWING 1 - 9 OUT OF 9 TOTAL
David Blaine's Secrets Revealed
DATE: 13 Aug 2008, 3:59 pm / MOOD: Happy
1. Voodoo Ash Effect: A name is written on a piece of paper on a notepad by the spectator, the paper is torn off unseen by the magician, crumpled up and placed in an ashtray. It is then set alight. The ashes are then rubbed on the magicians arm and the name of the person written on the paper mysteriously appears. Preparation: You will need a small notepad, pen, ashtray, lighter and a small piece of soap or wax. Method: The spectator is asked to write the name of a person or favourite anything of theirs on a notepad. Then to tear of the sheet of notepaper, crumple it up and place it in the ashtray, where the magician then sets the paper alight. The magician takes the notepad of the spectator and should be able to see the imprint of the name written on the paper above in the next sheet of the notepad. Looking at the pad should not be made obvious and some misdirection carried out while he carefully takes the small piece of wax or soap and writes the name on the imprint on his arm or hand (this action should not be visible to anyone ). The magician can then take some ash from the ashtray and rub it over the wax where it will stick and create an impression of the spectators word to their amazement. This is a great trick but depends on the magician creating an atmosphere with an entertaining routine and patter about black magic to enhance the effect and create misdirection to allow him time to pull off the trick. 2. M&Ms Torn and Restored Magic Trick Trick Effect And Routine: Tear a corner from a bag of M&Ms. Pour a few M&Ms into your hand. Then reseal the bag by magically melting the corner back onto the bag. Magic Trick Preparation: Place a few M&Ms into your" thumb tip"( This is a useful gimmick which can be purchased cheaply from most good magic shops) .You will also need to cut a corner off a different bag of M&Ms.You can place this in your thumb tip or just conceal it behind the bag. This trick is easier to perform if you sharply crease the corner on the bag that you are supposed to rip. Method: After you show the bag of M&Ms, discreetly slip the plastic thumb tip off your thumb and conceal it behind the bag in your hand (opening facing the corner to be ripped). Remove the extra corner from the thumb tip. Fold the creased corner towards you as you act out the magical illusion of tearing the corner. Pour out the M&Ms from the thumb tip. Secretly replace the extra corner inside the thumb tip as you unfold the creased corner. Use a rubbing motion with your forefinger and thumb to give the impression that you are melting the corner back on the bag. Slip the thumb tip back on your thumb and your done. Hand out the bag for examination! The patter is up to you, but you can tell a story of a candy crook who never gets caught or use your imagination to come up with some other interesting story with a sweet ending. 3. Coffee To Coins David Blaine Style Trick Set up: Get one of those coffee machine dispensed cups made of waxed paper and preferably with a pattern on the outside. Remove the bottom of the cup about an inch up from the bottom with a modelling knife or scissors and then place the cup back together by gently sliding the top half of the cup into the base using a slight twisting action if needed. Stack the cup three quarters full with coins. Pack the coins in tightly and then pour in a little cold coffee, enough to cover the coins completely. Coffee works best because it's so dark and will hide the coins. The cup should now look like a normal cup of coffee and is now ready to present to an audience. Performance: Comment on how the patterns on the side of the cup are magic symbols. Holding the top half of the cup with one hand, gently push up the bottom half of the cup with a slight screwing action with your other hand, then shake the cup. As the coins "unsettle" the coffee will spill between the cracks and the coins appear. This trick can be done with any cup of the waxed paper type that are usually found in vending machines. Be careful not to use hot coffee. Take care when using the modelling knife as it is sharp, even better, if your a kid, get an adult to cut it for you. 4. Cigarette Through Coin Magic Trick David Blaine again used this impressive money trick where he pushed a cigarette through a quarter. This trick uses a very clever gimmicked coin where the middle of the coin, temporarily opens to let the cigarette through and later closes so that the hole is virtually invisible to the spectator. This coin is available through good magic suppliers and is a great addition to any magicians collection. 5. Coin Vanish David Blaine was seen in his TV special to visibly vanish a coin that was on a spectators outstreched palm, without touching the spectators palm and by waving his hands above the spectators palm. This looks very impressive and is performed by using a gimmick called The Raven which is one of the most useful and worthwhile purchases for anyone interested in Street Magic. 6. Fruit Loops Pop Up Card Trick Performance: Incorporated into David Blaine's "Ambitious Card" routine. A signed card is placed into the centre of the deck - with a snap of the fingers the card returns to the top. The card is again placed into the centre of the deck, another snap of the fingers and once more the card returns to the top. The magician now takes the end of the face-up signed card and proceeds to bend it almost double, he turns the bent card face down, cuts off the bottom half of the deck and holds the deck at eye level where the bent card can be clearly seen on top. Still holding the cards at eye level the magician places the cut portion on top of the bent card, sandwiching it at the centre. The magician holds his right hand above the cards, a snap of the fingers and the bent card passes up through the deck and pops up on the top, it is displayed and seen to be the signed card ! Method: Fan the deck face-up and have your volunteer select a card by touching it. As you close the fan, cut the deck one card below the chosen card and take that portion to the top of the pack. Pack is still face up at this point. Turn the deck over and Double Lift the top two cards displaying the chosen card. Have the chosen card signed on the face. Now return the "double lifted" card(s) face down on top of the pack. Openly lift off the top card and have the volunteer cut off half of the deck - place the spectators chosen card (really the double lifted card) onto the bottom portion of the deck and ask the volunteer to place his half of the cut deck on top. Ask the volunteer to snap his fingers - turnover the top card to show that the signed card has returned to the top ! Place the signed card to one side. You now have two problems. One: You must lose the card in the centre again. Two: At the same time you must control the chosen card to a position second from the top (in order to perform the Pop Up Card effect). Both problems can be solved with one move..... Hold the deck in the dealing position with a little finger break under the top card. The deck is then held (left hand) with the deck almost at right angles to the floor, in this position use the left thumb to split the deck halfway saying "That looks like about halfway doesn't it" ? The break held by the little finger should be hidden by the base of the thumb. Pick up the signed card and bring it in from the rear, giving the appearance of returning the card at the halfway split - it is actually returned into the break held by the little finger - beneath the top card. (This move requires a lot of practice in front of a mirror.) Once the card has been returned, the hands/cards are brought back to a level position. Have the volunteer snap their fingers and with some flair and a riffle, double lift the signed card and place it out-jogged (face-up) on top of the deck. Take the outer end of the face up (double lifted) signed card with your right hand and bend it almost in half, then turn the (double lifted) bent signed card face down (leaving it bent). The right hand now cuts the deck into two (Biddle grip) and the left thumb openly slips off the top bent card onto the bottom portion of the deck as the right hand (holding the top portion)is withdrawn to the right. The right index finger must keep pressure on the bent signed card which is on top of the half that is being held in the right hand. Hold the left hand portion at eye level where the bent card can be clearly seen. Still holding the cards at eye level, place the right hand portion of cards on top of the bottom half, sandwiching the bent card in the centre. The left hand thumb and index finger must now take control of the deck and hold down the bent signed card on top of the pack, ensuring that it doesn't pop up prematurely. The magician holds his right index finger above the cards and asks the volunteer to snap his fingers, at that moment the magician releases the pressure on the top card and up it Pops !! Turn the card over, to reveal, once again, the signed card. Click Here For Street Magic The Things You Will Need This trick is good in its basic form but can really be hyped with some good patter and performance from you. 7. Coin Bitten And Restored Coin Trick David Blaine performed this extremely effective trick where a coin was bitten and a piece torn off. The coin was restored when the missing piece was seemingly spat out at it. This trick was used using a very cleverly engineered coin which is available from good magic suppliers and is switched for the spectators coin.
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FUNNY STORIES
DATE: 03 Jun 2008, 5:47 am / MOOD: Other
A woman and her lover are in the house while the husband is at work. Her nine year old son comes in, and after seeing them making love he hides in the wardrobe and watches them. All of a sudden the husband comes. Wife hides her lover in the wardrobe, without knowing that her son is in there. Boy: - It's dark here. - Yes it is. - I've got a soccer ball. - That's nice. - Do you want to buy it? - No, thanks. - My dad is outside. - Ok, how much? - 250 dollars. After a few weeks man and boy run into each other again in the wardrobe. Boy: - It's dark here. - Yes it is. - I've got a soccer cleats. Remembering what happened last time, man asks: - How much? - 750 dollars. - Ok. After few days, father says to his son: - Lets go and play soccer. - I can't, I sold the ball and the cleats. - How much did you get? - 1000 dollars. - That is terrible, how could you ask so much money.... that's much more than they are worth. That's a sin, so you should go to the church and confess. Father takes his son to the church confessional. Boy gets in, closes the door and says: - It's dark here. Priest: - Don't start with that shit again!!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. - "House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa". "Pencil", however, is masculine: "el lápiz." A student asked what gender is 'computer? Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because: 1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic; 2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else; 3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and 4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ("el computador"), because: 1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on; 2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves; 3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and 4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model. The women won. (Guys, that's a joke!) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, she decided to go the party. Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him. She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband. Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior. She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had. He said: - Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there. - Did you dance much? - I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to......."
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JOKES ABOUT ANIMALS
DATE: 03 Jun 2008, 5:46 am / MOOD: Other
A panda walks into a bar, goes right to the counter, grabs a sandwich and after having eaten it he takes a gun out of his pocket and shoots the bartender. Then, as though nothing had happened, he walks out. Everyone in the bar is sitting all speechless and petrified but suddenly someone breaks the silence: -What a hell was that?!? Comes a sorrowful voice: -It was a panda. -??? -Perhaps you don't know what a panda is... It's a mammal that eats, shoots, and leaves. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - How hedgehogs mate? - Carefully, very, very carefully! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Which animal has two gray legs, and two brown legs? - Elephant that has diarrhea! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - The life is full of surprises, tells a hedgehog, and gets down from a brush. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - What is the worst thing that can happen to a bat while it sleeps? - To get a diarrhoea! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: - What happened to this one? - I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's hot summer, ninety degrees. A rabbit sits under the shadow of a tree and sharpens a stick with a knife. A wolf passes by. - Rabbit, rabbit, what are you doing? - I am sharpening this stick in order to kill a bear. - ??? A vixen passes by. - Rabbit, rabbit, what are you doing? - I am sharpening this stick in order to kill a bear. - ??? The bear passes by. - Rabbit, rabbit, what are you doing? - I am sharpening this stick and bullshiting.
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ADULT JOKES
DATE: 03 Jun 2008, 5:44 am / MOOD: Other
- Why farmers have it bigger than the guys from city? - ??? - Because they haven't had toys! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two girls: - Which is the best contraceptive? - An aspirin. - ??? - Take an aspirin, put it between the knees and keep it tight. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A bachelor has no belly because when he opens a fridge he says: - "Fuck it, the same again!" and then goes to the bed. Married man has belly because when he comes to the bad he says: - "Fuck it, the same again!" and then goes and opens the fridge. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A guy comes to his friend and finds him beating his dick with a hammer. - What are you doing? - I'm masturbating. - Masturbating with a hammer!? Are you enjoying it at all? - Yes, each time I miss it.
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JOKES ABOUT POLICE
DATE: 03 Jun 2008, 5:43 am / MOOD: Other
Two policemen are going to work: - Shall we take a bus or walk? - Well, lets see what arrives first. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A policeman comes to the office with one black shoe and one white shoe. His boss starts to yell at him: - You are ruining police reputation, go home and change the shoes. The policeman goes home, and comes back after a while. - Boss I have a problem, the other pair of shoes at home are black and white, too. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Santa Claus, one smart and one stupid policeman are walking together when they spot a hundred dollars on the ground. Who will take the money? - ??? - The stupid policeman, since Santa Claus and the smart policeman don't exist. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two policemen are in a patrol car: - Could you check if the directionals work on your side of the car? The other policeman looks through the window and says: - Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On a narrow mountain road a man sees a police car driving uphill backwards. - Hi guys. Why are you driving backwards? - Because we are not sure that we will find a place to make a u-turn on the top of the mountain. After one hour the same man sees the same police car driving downhill backwards again. - But guys, why are you driving backwards again? - We found a place to make a u-turn up there. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A policeman sent his wife and kid to a resort for a vacation. After a week he joined them in the hotel. As soon as he came to the hotel room he wanted to make love to his wife. - No darling, we can't do it here, our kid is watching us. - You are right, lets go to the beach. After a while, they start to make love on an empty beach. All of a sudden, a policeman walks in on them. - Put your cloths on immediately, shame on you, you can't do that in public. - You are right - said the husband - but I had a moment of weakness. We didn't see each other for a week. By the way, I am a policeman too and it would be very embarrassing if you fine me. - Don't worry, you are a colleague and it is your first time. But this is the third time I caught this bitch making love on this beach in the last week and she will have to pay for it.
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MORE JOKES
DATE: 03 Jun 2008, 5:41 am / MOOD: Other
Two friends: - What is it: it weighs 500 pounds, it provides heat during the winter but hangs on the tree during the summer? - ??? - It is a stove. - A stove that hangs on a tree? - Why does it matter to you where I keep my stove during the summer. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man at the doctors: -Doctor, I have diarrhea and it won't go away! -Did you try using a lemon? -Yes I did, but when I removed it, it started again! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Mummy, mummy, does a lemon have a beak? - No it doesn't my son. - Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A man is driving on a city bus with a newspaper on his knee. From time to time, he rips a piece off, ripping that piece into smaller ones and throwing them out the window. A passenger standing near him asks: -Excuse me, why are you throwing pieces of paper out the window? -I'm chasing away the elephants -Chasing elephants? There aren't elephants in the city. -Well that means it's working! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two friends: - I heard that you have made a band. - Yes, it's a quartet. - How many of you are there? - There are three. - Three? - Me and my brother. - You have a brother? - No, why do you ask? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In a restaurant, a man ordered soup but, as soon as it arrived, he had to go to the bathroom. To make sure that nobody touched his soup while he is away, he wrote on a napkin: "I SPIT IN THE SOUP". When he returned, he found another message on napkin: "ME, TOO".
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SCOTISH JOKES
DATE: 03 Jun 2008, 5:40 am / MOOD: Other
Two Scots, a father and his son, go to America. - Daddy, when we'll arrive? - Shut up and swim. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Why do Scots watch porn films from the end to the beginning? - Because they like a happy ending, when the prostitute gives the money back to the client. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Scot came back from work earlier than usual and saw a plumber's car in the front of his house. - Oh my God, I hope it is her lover. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- While a Scot is pissing, a sterling falls into the toilet. Desperately, he looks at the sterling and asks himself whether a sterling is worth getting his hands dirty. After thinking for a while, he takes 10 sterlings out of his pocket and throws them into the toilet. -Well, it's worth getting your hands dirty for eleven dollars!
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SHORT JOKES
DATE: 03 Jun 2008, 5:39 am / MOOD: Other
- All is a shitting, except the pissing, but the pissing becomes a shitting if you piss against the wind. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Why didn't the sailors play cards? - Because the captain was sitting on the deck. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Why dwarfs laugh while they play the soccer? - Because the grass tickles their balls! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - What is the difference between the tires Good Year and 365 used condoms? - 365 used condoms are VERY good year. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - What Bill Gates' wife says him when they make love? - Bill, you are so MICRO, you are so SOFT. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A group of spermatozoa march. Unexpectedly, the spermatozoon guides stops: - Stop! Treason! The ass!!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Who has invented the love? - The poor, so they can fuck for free. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Two prostitutes, after Christmas holidays: - What did you ask Santa Claus to give you? - Hundred dollars, as usual. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Good: Your wife is pregnant. Bad: She is expecting triplets. Very bad: You were sterilized five years ago. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Good: Your wife doesn't talk to you. Bad: She wants divorce. Very bad: She is a lawyer. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Good: Your son is growing up. Bad: He has a relationship with a whore from the neighborhood. Very bad: Just like you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Good: You are explaining to your daughter about birds and bees. Bad: She interrupts you. Very bad: And corrects you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Good: Your son has a serious relationship. Bad: The relationship is with a man. Very bad: With your best friend. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Good: Your daughter has a good job. Bad: She is a whore. Very bad: She earns much more than you.
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SEX JOKES
DATE: 02 Jun 2008, 11:27 pm / MOOD: Other
A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband: - Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts! While making love, he says: - Darling, let's do 68! - 68??? What's that? - You do it to me and I'll owe you one. Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours. - Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavour. As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says: - Gorgonzola! - Wait, it is not on yet. Two friends: - Tonight I am going to organize a group sex session in my apartment. Do you want to come? - Of course! How many people are coming? - Three, if you bring your girlfriend. A little boy asked his mother: - Mummy, why are you white and I am black? - Don't even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don't bark. One woman stops a taxi. - To the airport, please. After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says: - You are third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today. - Are you kidding me, I am not pregnant. - Well, you haven't arrived to the airport yet neither. One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one. Pinocchio talks to Gepetto: - Daddy my dick is all jagged and crooked so I have no success with girls. - You know, my son, I didn't care too much about that detail, but that should not be a problem. Go to the shop, take a sandpaper and fix it. After some time, Gepetto asks Pinocchio - Well, did you resolve the problem with the girls? - Daddy, since I got the sandpaper who needs the girls anymore.
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