DATE: 25 Apr 2007, 4:14 pm / MOOD: Disapointed

So, since joining this site, I've had a lot of guys (and a few girls) tell me I'm beautiful, sexy, hot as fuck, etc. And that's awesome that they think so.

I don't agree w/them though. I used to think I was very pretty. Not the most beautiful girl in the world, but definately attractive.

Until Brian.

My parents were out of town (yes, I live w/them still, stfu) and he came over to stay the night w/me. We decided to meet my friend up at the bar, and I just left my hair down and curly (it's straight in my pictures, but naturally very curly-joy) and wasn't wearing makeup. I didn't look bad though-no zits, no dark circles....

Brian looked at me and asked if I was putting on makeup. I said no, I wasn't going too. He then told me I wasn't pretty enough to go w/out wearing makeup, especially in public. I laughed, thinking he was joking (he knew I have low self-esteem) and he told me he wasn't fucking joking...And hit me across the face. Now I have a scabbed over cut on my lip (it resembles a cold sore thank god, and that's what I'm telling people). Then he swore it wouldn't happen again. We went out and I had a few beers and then came home.

He wanted to fuck, I didn't. Period and all. We fucked. Definately didn't want too after the events earlier (which I think is understandable). Then I crawled onto the floor and slept. He woke up and noticed, and hit me. A lot. He asked me what kind of girlfriend leaves her boyfriend sleeping alone in the bed, and I asked what kind of man hits a girl and that earned me another hit. At least I got to insult him though.

And then he left, and I didn't hear from him for a week (not that it bothered me). He called though, and asked what I was doing and I said nothing. Then he asked what I did over the weekend and I told him my ex Kiel. He was pissed and I told him he had no say. The second he touched me, we were over. He wasn't happy w/that. And I know this because he stalked me and followed me to the bar. Thank God Kiel was w/me and kicked his ass.

So if you say something positive to me, and I respond negatively and you've read this blog, you know why.

I have another whole pile of issues, but I won't discuss them now.

You may have seen me naked, but you don't know me.

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